you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
