I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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