Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have post one night stand depression
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