i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
