Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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