Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize