What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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