Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
