Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
