I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize