This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
