hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
