my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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