in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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