Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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