I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
