I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
