I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
