I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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