I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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