Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
