when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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