I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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