we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
