nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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