the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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