ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
