It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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