It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
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You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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