I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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