i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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