Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize