I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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