My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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