If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
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