No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
