that's an acceptable place to lick
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
