i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
