I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
