Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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