I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
