You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
