We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
