so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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