So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
