sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
