Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
where does the pee come out of this thing
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
