so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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