what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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