Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
