You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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