so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
