I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
