I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
