i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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