is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
