You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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