so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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