Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
