are you still at the devil's house?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
