And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
