I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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