Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
