I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
