Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
