yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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